May Prompt: 001. "It is better to die on your feet than live on your knees." Emiliano Zapata

It is too fucking early for bullshit like this.

Fucking Russians can’t take a fucking joke, got to go all alpha fucking male and disturb an Irishman’s morning. Murphy thought all of this was settled last night but obviously Russians hold grudges.

They’ve gone and cuffed Connor to the toilet and are practically throwing Murphy down the stairs in spite of his foul language and belligerent attacks on their mother.

All’s fair when shit like this happens and Murphy rarely ever holds anything back. Now isn’t any different. Murphy will be damned before he cowers in the face of anything. Even when he’s staring at the barrel of a gun he’s still Murphy - attitude and insults all the way.

Fuck them; they’ll be dead before they even so much as think to pull that trigger.

He’s on his knees but that hasn’t stopped him from smirking like he knows the world’s secrets. They might have the gun and they might be the ones holding his life in their hands but Murphy knows something they’ll never know.

It takes more to beat a MacManus than this and it sure as fuck takes more than putting him on his knees in a dirty alley to ever beat the spirit from him. God help them because they’ll never know the truth but that sits just fine with Murphy because they can’t see what he sees until it’s too late and Connor’s on them.

Connor might be hurt but he’s given Murphy the chance he needed and just like that the roles have reversed and Murphy’s the one putting an end to a life. Stupid fuckers didn’t even know what hit them until it was too late.

Muse: Murphy "Aequitas" MacManus
Fandom: The Boondock Saints
Word Count: 284

April Prompt: 004. Two sides of the same coin

The MacManus brothers have and will always be two sides of the same coin. They’re so similar and yet so different in every aspect of themselves and their approach to life.

They’re twins, not identical but close enough. They think the same way, communicate without a word, live together and drink together. Some say they’ll even die together, and if one goes before the other people have said that the other will follow him into the dark.

Murphy and Connor look nothing alike, Murphy is dark whereas Connor is light but the tattoos on their skin identify them as family and somehow related to the other. It’s hard to mistake their casual at ease behaviour with one another to be anything else.

Murphy has and will always be the impulsive one, the act now and think later type. Connor thinks too much and rarely acts without hours of consideration. Murphy drags the fire out of Connor and Connor tempers Murphy in a way no one else can.

Everybody recognises Connor as the eldest even though there’s no proof of that. He’s far too serious to be anything else. He looks after Murphy and Murphy returns the favour, often throwing caution to the wind for his brother and Murphy is the only one Connor’s ever been willing to act on impulse for.

They're the same and yet not, the brothers have completely different temperaments and each man has his own beliefs and ways of dealing with other people.

Murphy and Connor are never known as Murphy - Connor, it’s always Connor and Murphy or Murphy and Connor. People never separate them because they’re inseparable and have been since they were born into this world.

So different and yet so similar, they’re the perfect counterparts to one another and they’re an echo and a reflection of each other in whatever they do or say. It’s hard to look at Murphy and not see Connor in his eyes and it's even harder to not see Murphy in Connor.

They’re two sides of a coin that once flipped has no heads or tails. Heads becomes tails and tails becomes heads, one and the same, completely.

Muse: Murphy "Aequitas" MacManus
Fandom: The Boondock Saints
Word Count: 361

"I never thought I'd say this, but..."

I never thought I’d say this, but sometimes prayin’ jus’ isn’t enough.

You can get down on bended knees and clasp your hands together and send Lord only knows how many Hail Maries toward the sky and sometimes everythin’ goes unanswered.

It’s almost as if he’s given up on us.

Aye, Connor and I do his work but you shouldn’t have to rely on men with guns to get the dirt off the streets. I see mothers prayin’ for the lives of the children they’ve lost because the poor lass or lad ran into the middle of a turf battle between one gang and another. Mothers shouldn’t have to bury their children.

You’d think in a time of despair a person’s faith would be enough to see them through into the next but when you look into people’s eyes and see the blank stare of folk that have lost too much you learn that sometimes faith and prayer jus’ isn’t enough.

That’s how I know what we’re doin’ is right because there’s a reason people pray and it’s for some kind of salvation and if the God above can’t dish it out personally then guess it falls to me and mine.

We’ll stop when they stop.

Muse: Murphy "Aequitas" MacManus
Fandom: The Boondock Saints (Misc Movies)
Word Count: 206

Topic for 03/01/07: "Exhaustion"

He's exhausted in every way a human being can be exhausted: physically, mentally, and emotionally.

They haven't spoken for days, not even one word over the breakfast table. It makes Murphy hurt in ways he can't even begin to describe. Connor is Murphy's other half. Always has been. He fills the voids, slides into the empty places and completes Murphy in ways no one else can or ever will. They're twins, and maybe they're not identical, but Murphy doesn't care. He doesn't give a shit what the medical text books say. They're just as close, if not closer.

By now it's been a week and Murphy doesn't even remember what they're fighting about any more. All he knows is that he's not about to fold. Stupid male pride? Has fuck all on stupid Irish stubbornness. He catches Connor looking at him from under his eyelashes but as soon as Connor realises that Murphy's caught him in the act he looks away and goes right back to ignoring his younger twin.

It's driving Murphy insane.

He finds excuses not to be at home, to be somewhere else, because he cannot be in the same space as Connor and not be the first one to admit defeat. For some reason this fight feels like it should matter and he should hold out as long as he can. It's like he's trying to prove to himself that he can work without Connor. Problem is, he can't. Murphy knows this. He knows, too, that Connor can't work without him, but brother's just better at hiding it and better at control. Murphy feels and Connor thinks – it's always worked that way.

It's almost worth giving in just so he can have Connor back at his side again. He'd sleep better, for one. He'd think clearer, smoke fewer cigarettes. Murphy's pretty sure he'll have lung cancer before he's thirty at the rate he's going.

God above, he's so tired.

The silence lasts two weeks. Murphy's down to his last pack of cigarettes and running on six or seven hours of sleep the day he finally gives in. They sit at the table, across from each other but looking in two different directions in a scene that had become painfully familiar over the past fourteen days.

"Connor."

"Yeah."

"Pass the ashtray?"

Connor slides the ashtray across the table, and finally, they look at each other. It isn't an apology, not by a long shot, but it's something - much more than what they've had and it's enough.

It never takes a lot with Murphy.

Muse: Murphy "Aequitas" MacManus
Fandom: The Boondock Saints
Word Count: 426

What song best describes your life?

Bob Dylan - "Ain't No Man Righteous (No Not One)"

All his life, Murphy has tried to live a good life.

He’s a good catholic boy, attends church regularly, says his prayers and only ever takes the God’s name in vain when there’s no other way to express himself.

Murphy’s only ever wanted to live right and proper and he’s been doing a good job of it with him and Connor holding down a job and having a place to stay. They’re always polite, always friendly, and always the Irish devils with a sparkling word for most everyone in their neighbourhood.

Only now, everything’s changed and he wonders if he should be struggling more than he is. He looks at Connor and he sees the doubt in his brother’s eyes and he wonders if he’s the one in the wrong, if maybe he’s living life the wrong way.

This is a mission from God, who is he to doubt the Lord above?

Then there’s Da and Da believes in it enough for all three of them. They believe that what they’re doing is right and he knows that they’re killing evil men and he can’t care enough to feel remorse. Too long have the streets been rife with corruption.

It’s a hard life and Murphy’s seen the warmth in Connor’s eyes fade away until there’s nothing but the cold blank stare of a man that’s killed too many to believe he still has a soul. The only time Connor seems to be the man he remembers him to be is when they’re alone and they’re just talking about things like they used to. It scares him, makes Murphy ache and he does what he can to make sure that Connor never loses his way even if it’s at the expense of Murphy’s dignity.

Now that they’ve started, there’s no stopping them.

There’s too much work to be done and if God can trust in them and believe in them enough to entrust them with this then Murphy believes that they have to remain strong and true to the path.

Murphy knows that if he loses his life on this path he’ll be going to God’s arms and he has enough faith to believe that there’s something better after this world. He has enough faith to believe that if they fight hard enough then the world would have a taste of Heaven itself.

There’s too much evil in the world, too many wrongs that need to be righted, and they’re God’s warriors – his chosen ones.

Muse: Murphy "Aequitas" MacManus
Fandom: The Boondock Saints (Misc Movies)
Word Count: 414

Topic for 27/12/06: "Change"

People say the one thing in this life that’s constant is change and they aren’t lying ‘cause let’s face it, nothin’ is ever constant but it’s guaranteed jus’ when you think you got everythin’ about life and yourself all worked out, somethin’ or someone will come along and throw everything into the shitter.

Change in my life came in the way of Russian mafia in my neighbourhood.

See, we wouldn’t have had a problem with them closing down the pub ‘cause we’re nice lads who understand how things in this world work but then they had to go and get testy on us.

We were jus’ tryin’ to be social and accommodating but it would seem the Russians lacked a sense of good fun and it was round ‘bout the time they smashed my drink up that things got really ugly.

Piece of advice, you shouldn’t come into an Irish neighbourhood and an Irish pub and start a fight because chances are yer not going to win, not unless yer pretty fuckin’ big and even then yer pushing yer luck.

It wasn’t till the morning after that they found us and had me on my knees in the back alley tellin’ me I’d have better made my peace with God. Good thing they weren’t the praying sort or they might have seen the toilet and Connor long before either of them had a chance to hit.

Everythin’ changed after that ‘cause we had to give ourselves up, nothin’ else we could’ve done. Sure we could’ve run but weren’t our fault and it was all self defence so why run from somethin’ like that?

Then that night in the cell and we knew what we were supposed to be doin’ with our lives. Destroy all that which is evil so that which is good may flourish, simple enough, wouldn’t you say?

The papers labelled us ‘Saints’ and suddenly we were celebrities, not ‘cause we wanted to be but ‘cause in our neck of woods miracles and good deeds don’t happen all that often and it wasn’t like we’d only taken out a pimp that worked the corners.

Next thing we know we’re killin’ mafia and are on a crusade for God above himself and I know involving Rocco was a bad idea but he wanted to make a difference and who were we to stop him? You go into somethin’ like this expecting to lose yer own life but you never think you’ll lose a friend and it’s always hard sayin’ goodbye.

Not that Rocco held it against us or nothin’, told us to keep goin’ and to never stop so what better way to honour a friend’s memory than by doin’ exactly what he asked of you in his final moments?

We met our da ‘cause of this new path of ours, turns out he’s more or less on the same one and seems we make a good fuckin’ team and we also found ourselves with some allies in the police department. Smecker got us into the courtroom and the rest as they say is history. He’s a good man that one and wouldn’t be without him.

Now we’re livin’ a new kind of life with new kind of responsibilities and things to worry ‘bout but I’ve got Connor and truth is he’s all I ever need, always has been.

As long as I have him I can face anythin’ this world can and will throw at me.

Muse: Murphy "Aequitas" MacManus
Fandom: The Boondock Saints
Word Count: 578

Topic for 13/12/06: "If you were going to die tomorrow, what would you do to make your last day a memorable one?"

Throw a party and toast to the end of my life as I know it, even spend all that savings of mine on gettin’ ma over here to help Connor and I celebrate the good and proper Irish way.

Bet you were all thinkin’ I’d say somethin’ noble or maudlin but let’s face it, if we know the end is comin' for us, we might as well throw a party and go out with a bang ‘cause a whimper jus’ isn’t gonna cut it, not for me.

We’re all gonna die so why sit around bein’ all depressed about it?

Everybody dies, it’s jus’ the way things go and if yer lucky like me and you believe in Heaven and Hell and you know somethin’ is waitin’ for you at the end of all things. All I can ask is that my end is quick and painless and if it’s gotta be painful then let it be quick.

I’d probably attend church though, atone for all my earthly sins as they are and pray for Connor’s soul and ask that the Angels above watch over him ‘cause I couldn't anymore. Everybody always thinks it’s jus’ him lookin’ out for me but really we look out for one another, always have done.

If I knew the end was comin’ for me, I’d celebrate living my life.

Muse: Murphy "Aequitas" MacManus
Fandom: The Boondock Saints
Word Count: 225

"What is your worst quality as a significant other?"

I was never serious enough.

Mean sure I had my fair share of lasses but none of them were what I’d call a long lasting relationship ‘cept for the one that spanned almost two years but all good things, y’know how the sayin’ goes.

The lasses used to say it was fun to be wit’ me but I wasn’t ‘husband’ material which suited me jus’ fine ‘cause I know I’d never be able to marry some lass, set up home, and leave my twin behind.

See, Connor and I, we’ve always been together in one way or another. We’ve never been separated for long especially after that time at school and I bit that teacher on the hand. Aye, I was a violent little fuck when I was younger, although not a whole lot has changed. Kinda gettin' off topic huh? Right then, back to it. I guess you could even go so far as to say that no lass has or ever will be as important to me as my twin.

Not to say I didn’t love my girlfriends ‘cause I did, some more than others and some I was glad to see the back of. Think everybody’s had someone like that, love to begin wit’ but eventually all the love you had for that person just turns into somethin’ else.

But aye, my worst quality as a significant other would be that I’m never serious enough but that could span a lot more than jus’ my love life.

Muse: Murphy "Aequitas" MacManus
Fandom: The Boondock Saints (Misc Movies)
Word Count: 250

( My sex business card )

( My sexual dictionary definition )

( My seduction style )

( My hidden sexual talent )

( The sexual activity that lands me in prison )

Coulda been worse.

December Prompt: 'When the gods wish to punish us, they answer our prayers.' Oscar Wilde, An Ideal husband, 1893

Murphy’s the youngest but only by a few minutes at most so when da left he didn’t seem to take it as hard as Connor, maybe because his brother was closer to this phantom figure that they used to call da or maybe because he remembered more than Murphy ever could.

When da disappeared from their lives ma told them it was for the best and that they’d make it through and nothin’ would stop them from bein’ a good family and turns out she was right.

The boys grew up right and proper, attended church and had stories told about them; how they were going to grow up, do great things but Murphy somehow doubts that the old grannies at the bingo hall foresaw this, any of this.

Never thought that their sweet darling boys would be pluggin’ holes into the scum of the earth and shedding pints of blood and inflicting their form of justice on the dirty streets of Boston.

Aye, they were doin’ exactly that and it ought have felt bad or wrong in some way and yet Murphy felt no remorse or regret, the men they killed were evil men who deserved no better than what was brought down upon their heads.

For longer than he can remember he’s always wanted to know about their da, wanted to know what kind of man could just walk out on his family and it would seem God’s got himself a twisted sense of humour ‘cause he gets his chance.

His name is Il Duce and he’s their father - by blood, by prayer, and by his acts.

What started out to be a quest from God has turned into an endless bloody massacre that Murphy never sees an end to and some days he wonders if he ever wants to stop, everythin’ feels right and it ought to feel wrong but it doesn’t, it never does.

It’s only at night when Murphy can’t sleep ‘cause he never sleeps and he’s smokin’ his way through a twenty pack of smokes in an hour that he wonders if God’s punishing him for thinkin’ what he does or the rest of the godforsaken society for doin’ the things that they do.

He’s not sure and sometimes he thinks on it too hard and too long which means he gets a stinkin’ fuckin’ headache and he’s narky for what remains of the day. Ain’t no way to be greeting the dawning of a new day so Murphy tries not to think too hard.

Murphy just breathes and takes every day as it comes ‘cause he never knows when it’ll be his last.

Muse: Murphy "Aequitas" MacManus
Fandom: The Boondock Saints
Word Count: 441

Topic for 06/12/06: "What is your greatest flaw and would you change it if you had the chance?"

Ma used to say it was my mouth but others used to say it was my temper. Personally I think they were both right because one doesn’t work well without the other now does it?

Never did have a good handle on it and ever since the day I was born into this world of ours I was a little hellion who would go off at any given moment. Connor, he was always a lot more controlled than me and ma would always hold him up as the golden example but I never could do what he did.

I couldn’t stop the first thing in my head comin’ right outta my mouth or retaliating in kind when someone said or did somethin’ I considered to be wrong or unjust. Got it more scrapes than I can count on my eight fingers and two thumbs and ma must’ve put me into school after school only to have me tossed out on me arse a week or two later.

Troublemaker, that’s what people called me but jus’ the ones that didn’t like me or my family all that much.

Split a lot of blood on the schoolyard grass and had more than six bruises on me at any given time, got so bad that they nearly called social services on ma until someone set them straight and told them that boys would be boys.

Gotten better as I’ve grown, less accustomed to goin’ off at any moment but I still got me a fiery temper that once lit isn’t easy to put out ‘less of course you put me on my arse or I put you on yours.

Would I change it?

Maybe.

Usually I consider this when I’m in over my head and Connor’s been dragged along for the ride but most of the time it’s what makes me different from my brother, makes us stand out from the other ‘cause when yer a twin people tend to think one and the same, no matter how different you look.

I’m the hothead of the family, the troublemaker, the joker, and I won’t be changin’ any time soon so best not hold yer breath.

Muse: Murphy "Aequitas" MacManus
Fandom: The Boondock Saints
Word Count: 362

"If you could change just one aspect of your society, what would it be?"

If I could change jus’ one thing I’d change the way that this society of ours treats its criminal types.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve got nothin’ against people making a livin’ ‘cause let’s face it - this world of ours ain’t exactly a forgiving place, but yer gotta agree that there are some out there that you’d like seen gone and for good, aye?

Truth is that a lot of the people that are caught by the hard workin’ boys in blue are back out on the streets the next day, bail gifting ‘em with wings that God didn’t grace ‘em with. Doesn’t matter how much evidence that the justice system has on ‘em because it always comes back to the same thing in the end: money.

Money talks pretty fuckin’ loud and men are susceptible to temptation ‘specially when it’s talking in six figure numbers. People bend, do and say stuff that they shouldn’t and next thing you know the fuckin’ scumbags are walkin’ the streets again, smilin’ like they jus’ won the fuckin’ lottery.

Justice is s’posed to be blind; it isn’t s’posed to be pre-determined but sometimes you can look at a person and know that they deserve everythin’ they get but it never happens the way that it ought and most of the time they get off without so much as a slap to their wrist.

Pisses me off is what it does.

Muse: Murphy "Aequitas" MacManus
Fandom: The Boondock Saints (Misc Movies)
Word Count: 239

December Prompt: Graveyard in fog

When I was just a small lad not any older than ten or eleven I lost my grandad because of a cancer in his stomach that just ate him alive from inside out.

Ma used to say that life wasn’t fair and that good people died while the wicked ones, men like drug dealers and pimps, got to live nice long lives.

When grandad died, our ma’s faith was tested and she stopped us from goin’ to church and attending services because she’d felt like God had abandoned us. The priests used to call round but ma just sent ‘em all away sayin’ that no matter what they said nothin’ was ever gonna bring her faith back.

Now as a small kiddy I didn’t understand it - how my ma, a woman of such religious belief and faith could stop jus’ like that, but when we laid granddad to rest and that fog rolled on in until it was so thick I couldn’t see no further than the end of my nose I could almost see why.

People die and most of the time they’re good honest people and it’s hard to believe in somethin’ like God when someone you love passes and the bad people get to live.

You see it every day but most of the time you don’t notice it because everybody’s got blinkers on and people see what they wanna see ‘cause they’re scared of seeing what’s really there. Some of us ain’t got any other choice because if we don’t do somethin’ then this world might as well be handed over to the corrupt men on a fuckin’ silver platter.

I jus’ remember clear as day standing over my grandad’s grave searching for my ma and Connor’s hand and finding both and knowing that no matter what happened I always had family and it wasn’t somethin’ that would ever let me down.

Can’t remember exactly when ma’s faith came back to her but it did and we started goin’ back to church and she always told me and Connor to listen close and remember. Life’s not easy and if you ain’t got nothin’ to believe in then you might as well be dead and I think ma realised that and that’s why she started goin’ back to church.

If you haven’t got faith in somethin’ then what do you have?

Muse: Murphy "Aequitas" MacManus
Fandom: The Boondock Saints
Word Count: 395

"Dance"

Aye, I dance.

Wouldn't be much of an Irish man if I didn't, they don't call it a jig for nothin'.

See, my ma, always thought us and by us I mean me and my brother Connor ought to know just about anythin' about near everythin' so sure enough we had ourselves dance lessons every day after school.

I remember dragging my feet every fuckin' afternoon, not wanting to set foot in that studio with that leotard sporting ice maiden of a dance instructor. We always reckoned that if you rubbed up against her by accident you'd catch frostbite but not like either of us was ever brave enough to try.

Haven't got much of a lid on this here temper of mine so holding my mouth shut for as long as I did in those lessons of hers was a miracle to say the least. Don't think she ever did appreciate that what with the amount of back hands she thought to give to me.

Connor, well, he was as good as fuckin' gold, and she loved him. Course she did, mister-I'm-so-sweet-I'm-going-to-make-all-your-fuckin'-teeth-rot. Think he did it to piss me off 'cause he's always been better at controlling himself and he says it's 'cause he's older but the jury's still out on that one, my friend.

I remember prancing …or as close as I ever got to prancing and feelin' like an overgrown girly in a pair of black …reaching into places I don't ever wanna explain …tights. Happiest day of my life was when ma finally saw some sense and had our classes stopped in favour of somethin' else.

That's not to say I don't know how to dance but I don't think the kind of dance I do was the kind ma had in mind for either of us.

Muse: Murphy "Aequitas" MacManus
Fandom: The Boondock Saints (Misc Movies)
Word Count: 301